Man... I got nothin. I've been sifting through all my thousands of pictures on my harddrive... on my second harddrive... I really officially have nothing good to say today... nothing good to post... nothing. I guess today's as good a day as any to just post random crap. By the way in case there was any confusion, my birthday isn't until October 5th.

I'm losin' it. Boy am I losin' it.

I have grandiose furniture plans coming up soon here. I'm going to buy those cool shelves they have at Organized Living... the industrial-garage/loft looking kind that are steel. I'm going to build a custom shelf where you buy all the pieces the height and widths you want. I've figured out that if I buy one of those... for one I'll have somewhere to put all my school books, rather than in piles on the floor. That's always good. I'll also have a place to put my tv, which is also on the floor. Two birds with one stone, as they say. Additionally, I'm thinking I'll be able to move my fish tank onto the shelves if they hold as much weight as they say they do. The dilemma I'm facing is how my fish tank is going to jive with my tv. I don't think I trust myself enough to put my fish tank over my tv, but I want them close (level) to the window so they actually get sunlight. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. But I hope to do it Thursday! Hooray for getting paid. I get paid the day after my birthday too... so I can justify to myself living outside my means for a while to treat myself for my birthday. Kind of like,"Way to live to see 23, Sarah!". Go, me.
posted by 00k at 9:52 PM

I've decided to share with you all my English narrative that I had to write. The assignment was to write about something we know a lot about. Since I don't know a lot about shit, I wrote about a game I used to play called Delta Force (I played the second one). It was a great game... and I played it for a long time. It eventually got overrun with cheaters, to the point where I lost my interest in playing. But I still carry the memories with me... memories of a better time. Yes... so dramatic! It's for the most part a fictional work (aka a pack of lies) but some of it is true. So here's my assignment... hope I get an A from you guys! (ahyuck).

Narrative - Conquering Gaming

It was a bright and warm day, the blue of the sky a stark contrast from the green of the tall, lush grass outside a young girl's window. But that young girl was me, and I was completely unaware. My focus centered on a screen in front of me and my gaze rarely left it. I was young, maybe nineteen. My hair was long and plain, and I wore no makeup. My clothes were simple and efficient, and had the look of being recently fetched from off the floor where no doubt the majority of my wardrobe lay at the time. On my face I wore a look of grim determination. In my mind the desire to win drove me on. In my heart there lived a different creature than the one you see, the creature that whispers to me as I play, "We can beat them all.".

I sit at my computer, hooked up to the internet through a thin cable that brings the entire world to my desk. I am playing a game of war, fought on a battlefield of pixels, whose wins and loses are determined by the shifting of bytes across a set plane. I fight with others like myself, spread throughout the world and brought together by technology. The fights are hardly epic, but the struggle that every player faces is a struggle with himself to do better than everyone else, and better than he has done before. Battles are won and battles are lost, and the course of human history changes, but the greatest battles of all mankind, are the ones that are fought every day in our own hearts.

The play is divided into two teams, the red team and the blue team. The map changes and the scores are reset every 30 minutes, or when someone captures all of the other team's flags. My job is defense. I'm good at what I do. I am also the leader of my team, the general in charge. I have to know where everyone is at all times. I have to spot the openings in the other team's line of defense. I must give orders, and keep order among chaos. It is not a job for everyone.

For every kill, and for every death, my heart rises and falls, like the rise and fall of my chest. Achieving a tactically sound position in battle is work. Dying and having to get all the way back there after having respawned, is more. I try to never die. The battlefield is somewhat unorganized. I can hear the sound of bullets whizzing past my head as I duck behind another rock. I pop up from behind my shelter and kneel, and shoot, 6 rounds from my m4 in burst mode. I watch them as they miss, miss, miss, hit hit hit. I see blood in the air as my projectiles do their damage. I see my name scroll past at the top of the screen, signifying a kill. I smile, and check my stats. No flags, but more kills than deaths, and that's all I'm going for right now. On this day, we're fighting a team we've fought many times before. The outcomes have been mixed, because we are fairly matched. Sometimes they beat us, and sometimes we win the day. Today I have a feeling we aren't going to walk away triumphant. My teammates holler at me, saying that we've lost two of our hardest flags in what appears to be a great attack by our opposition. "I wasn't paying enough attention…" my teammate Ashley, the one in charge of guarding our middle hill, says as she respawns next to me in our base.

"Well you're going to have to pay a lot more attention now," I say, "because if we don't haul some ass and pick up some more flags and quick, we're not going to be able to win this.".

She agrees, and I watch as she jaunts off back to her position. I imagine her internet connection dying, so I can swap her out for someone better. But such are the thoughts of battle when stats and flags are on the line.

The game goes on. We manage to catch up to the other team in flags. I am not sure how it happened, but my guess is sheer luck. We are running out of time now. We're neck and neck, with both teams having one flag left. For us, their flag will be next to impossible. For them, our flag will be much easier. Obviously I'm worried as hell. We all hover around our flag… babysitting it as we said as kids when we'd play "Hide and Go Seek" and the person "it" wouldn't go out and look for anyone for fear someone would run behind them and be safe. We were babysitting, for sure, but we were also planning. I had an idea.

My team didn't know what to do. They all looked at me expectantly for an answer. I could sense the hopelessness and desperation in their voices. It looked like either we'd lose or we'd get a tie, neither of which was particularly appealing. But then I thought of something. I told my team the idea, and they thought it might work. We became cautiously optimistic. The plan was a basic maneuver, used many times before. We were going to make a distraction. Our guys threw out some random comments into the public chat, about how no one was going to win, so they didn't care any more and were just going to go for kills. We were setting everything up.

The other team agreed, and everyone momentarily enjoyed a feeling of comradery in knowing we would all end equally, no losers. But I was on the move. While my team made a concerted effort to base rape the other team, that is, to kill them where they spawn right as they spawn so they can't leave their base, I snuck my way up to the flag. It was a good thing I had been chosen to execute this plan, because I didn't think most of my teammates would've had the skills. My protection was also vital, a good player Mike whom I knew always had my back, was mowing down man after man on the hill above me. I got to the flag which sat outside a building, directly in front of the other team's base. It was located on the edge of a rim that dropped off into a shallow trench with water running through it, which ran between the two teams bases. I snuck up to the flag and grabbed it, and quickly dropped back down into the water. All flags make a sound when they are picked up, and that sound seemed exceptionally loud to me just then. I then heard the sound of a million bullets ripping through the thin walls of the small shack now above me. I tried not to think of them, and to focus on swimming.

I swam the length of the river, expecting at any moment to be gunned down in the back by some enemy's automatic. Each second that passed found me a yard further from danger. Time was running out. I knew that if I died, I wasn't going to have time to turn in the flag. I made it out of the river, and scrambled up the other side of the trench into my team's territory. I dropped to my stomach on the other side of a tiny ledge, and told one of my teammates to meet me half way in case I died. I swore the time was ticking off the clock faster than it normally did.

I made it to the home stretch, the last 15 yards to my team's flag pole, where I would have to get to if I wanted the flag to count. My teammates were being thinned out at the enemy's base camp one by one, and their team was escaping from their base. I heard bullets whiz past me, and dropped to my stomach and started crawling to the next bit of shelter. It was like a fish frenzy, everyone trying to kill everyone all at once in some kind of maddening haze. I had gotten past the hard part, and my teammates were controlling the opposition again. I finally saw the flagpole, and I was sure I was going to make it. There were 8 seconds left on the timer, and I was a hop skip and a jump away from the flag pole. I was already grinning, when I got shot. I think my heart may've stopped at that point, I'm not sure. It was like my whole world stopped, my breath, the pounding of my heart, my fingers on the keyboard, the blood running through my veins, it all stopped as I looked on in horror. Someone on the opposing team had snuck out of their base, and made it over to our side, close enough to shoot me. He was quickly gunned down by Ashley, making me glad I hadn't substituted her.

Then I saw my team's savior. Luckily, with 4 seconds left, the teammate that had been trailing me grabbed the flag off my dead body, and managed to touch it to the flagpole. We won, with not a second to spare. My plan had worked, and my team had defeated the other team through skill, cleverness, determination, and a little bit of luck.

It may not have meant much to anyone else hearing about it in the world that day, but that day meant a lot to me. It was one of my finest moments in my game playing career, my peak. I don't play that game any more. I try to go outside, and mow the grass occasionally now, and hang my clothes up. But sometimes I look back on that time, and I know that that battle wasn't just over flags and kills in some game no one cared about, it was also a contest I had with myself, to push myself and see how much I was capable of, and how good I could be. I won that battle, and I conquered that game.

I'm leaving for Jamaica tomorrow to do missionary work. They're a nation of heathens, so my work is all cut out for me. I won't be back for 3 years... so I guess you'll all be dead by then. It's been interesting knowing you all and posting here for your amusement. I'm not sure what Jamaica will be like really... I'm a little scared. But it should be nice and warm. And I think there aren't very many white people... so I'll stand out. I like that.

I'm going to be very far away from a computer, the Jamaicans don't even have electricity! But I am going to keep a journal of my adventures, and when I get back I will type it all up and post it here in the hopes that you will all come back when I do. I hope that I will be able to send letters home, and maybe someone will post them for me. I hear malaria is still rampant there... that kind of sucks. But they say if you bathe yourself in cow urine every third day or so the mosquitoes will leave you alone. I've already tested that theory... it seems to be working. I haven't got malaria yet anyways, or west nile. There are many unforseen advantages to bathing in cow urine, I hope to educate Americans to these advantages when I return.

I hope I will have somewhere nice to sleep over there, if I don't get a full 8 hours in complete darkness I'm just not up to par on my religious teachings. And I need to be able to give those Jamaican's 110% to save their souls. My recruiter says that we'll be staying in a "house of women", whatever that is. I assume it will be like going to a private catholic school where they don't let boys attend. He said that we'd be working in the local area to earn our keep, while we learn about the ways of the Jamaicans. I wonder if we will be farming, or milking cows, or what? I have no idea.

Jamaica seems so fascinating. I heard that right when you step off the boat, everyone runs up to you and tries to sell you homemade Jamaican garbage for ridiculous rates under the assumption that you won't understand the exchange rate. Isn't that quaint? I wonder if this is how all of Africa is? That's where Jamaican's come from you know.

I learned in school that Africa used to have just two countries, instead of the 45 it has now. There were the Westenders, or the "Westies", and the Eastenders, or the "Asiatics". These two countries would battle all the time, because they each thought they were better than the other. They had all kinds of clan disputes, and many people were dying for wearing the wrong tribal colors or markings on their clothing. So eventually it was decided by the African Council (made up of 14 Germans, an Austrian, and a Czechoslavakian) in the year of our Lord, 1974, that west Africans should relocate to a different continent, the continent of Jamala-cayna, to end the fighting. Since this land was only being used by a few white people, it was easily obtained and overrun, and the Westies had a new hood to roll in.

This is the story of Jamaica, or "West-West Africa". The Westies originally had the goal of converting everyone to "Booya-ka-Ra-ism" (spelled different in their language obviously), their particular religion. They figured with that accomplished, the Empire of the Asiatics would fall naturally, proving the West Side the better side all along. But after many years of terrorizing the South Seas and spreading Boo-ya-ka's name, the Westies decided to give up and become Jamaicans, people who have nothing to do with Africa. Now the Jamaican people are peaceful, and they practice their heathenistic religious practices without persecution by outside influences. Me and my lusty, scantily clad teammates are going to change all of that though. No men should be able to practice their chosen religion if their chosen religion is heathenistic, we've decided.

Well... I guess that's all I have time to say. Now, I must pack. My recruiter has said that I should bring the barest clothes I can manage because it is so hot there I won't want to wear anything. He even suggests just wearing a bikini the whole trip if I can. I will have to buy a few more to have a good rotation... but that will be nice. Then I will be able to work on my tan, when I'm not working on the population. Praise the Lord. Farewell, all!
posted by 00k at 7:19 PM

So I lost my favorite lipgloss. I couldn't remember for the life of me where I'd seen it last. I was sad. I went to buy more, but I wasn't sure of the color. So I got a different color... and it was bad. Six dollars... down the tubes. Good lipgloss is so expensive. I was very sad. I gave up on my hopes of ever finding my lipgloss. Then, today, I found the lipgloss I had thought I'd lost! Now, I appreciate it more than I think I did before, because I really missed it when it was gone. I didn't realize how much I really liked it. I'm so glad I found it... my prodigal lipgloss. I'm glad I lost it and found it again, because now I can appreciate it more. I'm going to go slaughter my fattest calf now... tonight we feast.

I have never really understood the story of the prodigal son. I always thought the kids dad was an asshole to his other kid. I still don't really understand it... but maybe I am getting just a little closer. Not that I really care. Wow... it's only 8:48... I really thought it was later. The night is young! I'm going to do my homework.
posted by 00k at 8:48 AM

Why do the cops on Cops always ask the criminals they just chased down why they ran? And why do the dudes always say they don't know? I'm waiting for the guy that says "Because I didn't want to get caught, obviously, you stupid motherBLEEEP".

Today's rant...

I hate you

Have you ever parked your car in the no parking zone in front of King Soopers to wait for someone to run in, inconveniencing everyone else driving there?
I hate you.

Have you ever used more than 10 coupons at the grocery store on a crowded day?
I hate you.

Have you ever argued with a grocery store clerk over a dollar with a big line of people behind you?
I hate you.

Have you ever asked someone totally soaked if it's raining outside?
I hate you.

Have you ever asked me where "My Computer" is? It's under my desk, moron. You mean your computer's my computer? Well, if you don't know that, you probably should sell "your computer", because you're not using it anyway.
I hate you.

Have you ever ordered anything at Starbucks that was more than 2 words or 5 syllables long?
I hate you.

Have you ever asked someone "Working hard, or hardly working?" and followed it up with a big chuckle?
I hate you.

Have you ever complained to me about your $60,000/yr job being boring?
I hate you. Let's trade jobs.

Have you ever asked someone what they were doing on some messenger, and they've said they were doing something, and you just kept talking to them?
I hate you. Shut the hell up already.

Have you ever messaged me solely to tell me that you're bored? You know what I have to say for you? Keep your boredom to yourself. I sure don't give a fuck.

Have you ever uttered the phrase "But I swear I saved it right here... the computer must have lost it."?
I really fucking hate you.

Have you ever talked to anything or anyone in a baby voice?
I hate you.

Do you drive a beetle of some sort?
Please die.

Have you ever mimicked everything a teacher says and agreed about everything, like you already know and you want everyone to know that you already knew?
I hate you. Some teacher needs to fail your obnoxious ass. You shouldn't be allowed to talk until you have your own little classroom with your own little students.

Have you ever made a yellow webpage with white font?
Everyone hates you.

Have you ever brought up any problem you have physically, a problem with your digestive track, female problems, a problem you're having with foot fungus, any fungus, in a non-personal, non-sanitary doctor's office environment?
You, are gross. And I hate you.

Have you ever talked about how cute some actor or actress is?
Get a life. I hate you.

Have you ever talked about seeing a movie just because some chick might take off her shirt?
You're an embarassment to your kind. Go live in a cave.

Have you ever talked to me about your walk with Jesus?
I shouldn't hate you... but I'm going to anyways.

When you eat, do you get crumbs everywhere? If that is the case, why do you eat at your computer? Blech.
I hate you.

Do you say "lol" or "lmao" a lot? Do you have entire smiley based conversations?
I definately hate you.

Are you that guy on a forum that never, ever capitalizes anything?
You look like a retard. Einstein would look like a moron typing like that. And you, sir, are probably no Einstein.

Do you shuffle when you walk? Do you drag your feet and make a bunch of noise everywhere you go?
What is wrong with you?

Do you call everyone that doesn't agree with you too cynical?
Go to hell. I hate you. My glass was half empty... and now it's fully broken on your face.

Have you ever left a shopping cart in the middle of 4 spaces, like the four corners? Are you an idiot or what? Put it in one space if you have to, moron. Put out one person, don't make 4 people have to worry about bumping it into 3 other people.
Fuck you. I hate you.

Do you smoke, and whine about having to go outside to smoke?
Yeah, some of us actually like smelling like the cologne or perfume we put on that day, as opposed to an ashtray. Nothing personal, asshole.

Do you stare at chicks next to you at stoplights trying to get their attention?
Yeah... you dick, I Jane, you drive off cliff, no one care.

Are you exceptionally overweight? Do you feel the need to waddle all slowly, fatty hip and fatty hip with your fatty friends blocking an entire path?
I'm sure you can be a nice person, but right then, you're some fatty bitch in my way. And I'm not going to feel bad for you when you have a heartattack at thirty. That'll teach you to be a big fatty and get in my way.

Have you ever uttered the phrase,"Well you'll understand it better when you're my age and you've seen more of the world."? You're an asshole. I've seen enough of the world to know you're a pathetic sack of misspent youth and bitterness. Don't hate me because I'm young and better off than you were.

I guess I could probably go on like this all day. I'll save some for another time hehe.
posted by 00k at 8:18 PM

Well I finally got Apache installed and running on my linux box. Exciting stuff. I thought when I first threw "ooklin" together, that installing apache would be one of my priorities. But somehow I put if off for what... like... 8 months or some sick amount of time. So anyway I wanted to write a script this weekend... a perl script that would save me a lot of time and trouble at work. But I need to run it from a webserver... and I thought yeah, I could do it on my hosts server and deal with the hassle of all that. But then I thought, gee, it'd be a lot easier if I could do it on my own. So there was a need, and apache got set up. Exemplifying the fact that I only do shit when I really need to, not before. I guess that's human nature. I'm building character here! So that's it for my weekend. Writing a script... setting up some kind of security on my "web server" (feels weird to say that), and doing some homework. Party on! Best years of my life! Wooo! Yeah... everything I say sounds sarcastic :D
posted by 00k at 7:59 PM

Well I guess shit-season is well on it's way. It's 36 degrees outside right now... at 9 in the morning. It's only supposed to get up to 63 today. That is not very warm. I am sad. And cold.

Y'know what pisses me off? Those emails to split some bank account in the bahamas or where the fuck ever(1). Y'know why there are people out there that are constantly rewording that shit, switching it around, changing the subject, changing the names, you know why they're going through all that trouble? Because some fucking idiot out there keeps making it worth their while. Some fucking idiot is the reason we have spam at all. Some fucking idiot is reading their spam... and actually buying shit. Even just one time. Some fucking dickless idiot sees something about male penis enhancement pills in his email, and he buys them, and that makes it worth it for those fuckers to send out like 10,000 more free emails. The reason we have spam? Fucking idiots. Don't ever think some fucking idiot never did anything to you. Fucking idiots are "the problem". If there was a disease that came along and wiped out all the fucking idiots, I wouldn't be sad. I would be the proper amount of remorseful, I would think "Damn, now who will fill our potholes and sweep up trash at the bus station?". Who indeed. Liberal arts majors, that's who. Fucking educated idiots. I'm pretty handy with a broom from my Taco Bell days heh.

The downside to having all the idiots wiped out I guess would be that I would be the next generation of idiot. But I don't think I'm too stupid... so I think we'd be better off as a race. I suppose this is borderline Hitler thinking... I should explain myself. See, disease is disease. It's not anyones fault (generally), it just is. So a disease that struck the dumb... I can be okay with that, just like I can be okay with... well I can't think of any other diseases that I don't really mind. They're all bad I guess. But this one would be okay with me. I wouldn't support the rounding up of idiots and extermination, that'd be fucked up. Killing innocent people isn't okay, even if they are dumb as fuck. But having something else I am not responsible for kill them is not so bad. I guess. Okay it's still bad. It was all a pipe dream anyways. I don't want anyone to die. Except spammers.

1: LET ME START BY INTRODUCING MYSELF PROPERLY TO YOU. I AM MR.LARRY CHIMEZIE, CREDIT OFFICER WITH THE CAPITAL TRUST BANK OF NIGERIA PLC, LAGOS. I CAME TO KNOW YOU IN MY PRIVATE SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE THIS CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.

I watched Anger Management tonight. It was pretty funny. Totally pointless, didn't really all add up at the end, but funny nonetheless. And that's all I really ask from an Adam Sandler movie. Adam Sandler is great. I think he's one of my favorite actors, if not my favorite. I can't think of a better actor right this second, but I think it's just because when I try to think of actors I keep thinking of Adam Sandler. Big Daddy was great. Billy Madison was great. Happy Gilmore was fucking epic. Wedding Singer was more geared towards the ladies, but it was still great. A chick movie, that was still funny and could still appeal to the guys. That's impressive. I can't think of what else Adam Sandler has been in. Oh... Airheads. He had a funny part in that movie. Guess I never really watched Little Nicky all the way through. That didn't seem so great. But even Adam Sandler is allowed to have a shitty part here and there. Waterboy could've been better. Maybe he had an off season. People like me have an off life and noone gives a fuck... but people like Adam Sandler are in two not-totally-fucking-wonderfully-fantastic movies, and they're in a slump. I guess I sound like Tiger Woods crying about that. My point? Adam Sandler is funny as shit. I hope anyone that tries to make his life difficult gets hit by a bus. Oh shit... Mr. Deeds was funny. And Punch-Drunk Love showed us an Adam Sandler we weren't used to... with the kind of weird-artsy-gritty feel of that movie. Can't forget those. Here's a list of the shit he's been in snagged off IMDB. I haven't even seen half of these... I need to get on the ball. That is if I am truly a faithful Adam Sandler fan. I am not a true fan of many things.

Man... look at this repertoire.

Good Cook, Likes Music (2005) (announced)
Spanglish (2005) (pre-production)
Fifty First Kisses (2004) (post-production) .... Henry Roth
Couch (2003) (TV) (completed) .... Couch Testing Man


MTV Video Music Awards 2003 (2003) (TV)
Blossoms & Blood (2003) (V) .... Barry Egan
Anger Management (2003) .... Dave Buznik
Hot Chick, The (2002) (uncredited) .... Bongo Player
Day with the Meatball, A (2002)
Eight Crazy Nights (2002) (voice) .... Whitey Duvall/Davey Stone/Eleanor Duvall/Deer
... aka Adam Sandler's 8 Crazy Nights (2002) (USA: complete title)
Mr. Deeds (2002) .... Longfellow Deeds
Punch-Drunk Love (2002) .... Barry Egan
Animal, The (2001) .... Townie
Little Nicky (2000) .... Nicky


Big Daddy (1999) .... Sonny Koufax
Waterboy, The (1998) .... Bobby Boucher
Dirty Work (1998) (uncredited) .... Satan
Wedding Singer, The (1998) .... Robbie Hart
Bulletproof (1996) .... Archie Moses
Happy Gilmore (1996) .... Happy Gilmore
Billy Madison (1995) .... Billy Madison
Mixed Nuts (1994) .... Louie
... aka Lifesavers (1994)
Airheads (1994) .... Pip
Coneheads (1993) .... Carmine
Shakes the Clown (1992) .... Dink the Clown
"Saturday Night Live" (1975) TV Series .... Various (1991-1995)
... aka "NBC's Saturday Night" (1975) (USA)
... aka "SNL 25" (2000) (USA: new title)
... aka "SNL" (1975)
... aka "Saturday Night Live 80" (1980) (USA: new title)
... aka "Saturday Night" (1975)


Going Overboard (1989) .... Schecky Moskowitz
... aka Babes Ahoy (1989)
"Remote Control" (1987/II) TV Series .... Stick Pin Quinn/The Stud Boy

posted by 00k at 10:09 AM

Well I have fan-tastic news. I finally learned how to do linear equations. Yep. Way to go, me. *Pats self on back*.

What other news do I have. I've negotiated a time-share in a weekend villa. I'm pretty excited about my little getaway. I'm going to decorate it in a palm-trees-and-coconuts-on-vacation-Corona-commercial kind of theme. Hooray! I will post pictures in the future.

What else is new. I cleaned all the pop cans off my desk because I needed the space. There were something like fifteen heh. So my desk is looking better. My floor... is another story. I think I'm going to inventory everything on my floor.

Inventory of Shit on Sarah's Floor Books: 18 - Seattle - From cozy brewpubs to the great outdoors - Java Programming - The Everyday Writer - Insight Guide - Seattle by the Discovery Channel - Making Sense - A New Rhetorical Reader - Geography - Realms, Regions, and Concepts - CGI/Perl - Pacific Northwest - Ireland - Eyewitness Travel Guides - Ireland - Fodor's 33rd Edition - Perl Pocket Reference - Java - How To Program - Castles & Ancient Monuments of Ireland - Managing NFS & NIS - sed & awk Pocket Reference - Perl Cookbook - Elementary and Intermediate Algebra - Calvin & Hobbes - The Indispensible Calvin & Hobbes Notebooks: 9 - Blue scripting notebook - Black and grey unix notebook - Black and grey unix notebook pt 2 - Blue empty notebook - Green geography notebook - Blue english notebook - Red miscellaneous notes notebook - Black math binder - Blue math notebook Folders: 2 - Blue star folder with geography/english papers - Tan japanese writing on it folder with nothing in it Magazines: 1 - Sun Learning Solutions something-er-other Miscellaneous: - One package wide ruled loose leaf paper, open - 2 pairs shoes - 1 pair sandals - 3 towels - One half-empty hexagonal fishless fish tank - One laundry basket, full - 4 shirts - 5 pairs of pants - One maglite flashlight - One pack colored pencils - 7 separate pieces of paper with various things written on them - 7 Portfolio protector sheet things with binders - One pen - One USB cable - One West Colfax RTD Bus Schedule ...

I think that's it for miscellaneous shit on my floor. My tv is on the floor, but I don't think that counts. Fascinating, I know. Time to clean my room? Perhaps. Linked again was I! Getting cocky I am. Go give Bill in St. Louis's site a looky-loo... even if you hate St. Louis. Oh! On Sunday I'm going to a Rockies game... (baseball)... which is generally not real exciting for me. But I guess they're doing a thing where season ticket holders will get to go have a stroll around the infield, which will include me and my moms since she buys season tickets. Pretty swift. I plan on taking pictures, and looking like a jackass while doing so. Yay. I think that's everything I have to say for today. Pretty long post for what little I actually had to say hehe.

posted by 00k at 11:20 PM

Well... I was going to tell everyone to go to try to win my Calvin and Hobbes book over at nyjobless.com, but the trivia question (only country sharing the name of a U.S. state) has been answered (Georgia), and the contest is already over. Sorry, kids, better luck next time. This makes three webpages that have mentioned me by name now... fleetmack.com, nyjobless.com, and google.com. I'm taking the web by fuckin' storm.

School is going well... she says one late assignment and one failed math quiz later. I guess I forgot what it's like to have homework that actually takes time. All this time I've spent in school I've taken computer classes... none of which have had hardly any homework. Now I'm in an English class, so I have to write a lot. I'm in a math class... so I'm always having to do all these goddamn math assignments. I'm in Geography... so I'm supposed to be learning all this shit about "the world". AND I'm taking a programming fundamentals class... so I'm supposed to be reading and learning how to program and shit. Who would've guessed all these classes would have a bunch of homework? Not me. Probably someone that's taken them before. Where the hell were they when I was registering... goddamn.
posted by 00k at 10:25 AM

I guess there's some buzz about what the highest Asteroids score is. So, I'd like to compile some kind of list. Send me an email if you've played this Asteroids for any amount of time, and tell me your score! Highest score will receive a hearty "Way to go!" from me and will be the envy of all.

I bought a plant today. It's a Dracon...aieaen... Mara...na...guh...nee... I don't know what it's called. Oh... Dracaena Marginata. Phew. I'm going to chart it's growth like a kid. A kid I won't feel AS bad about if I accidentally forget to feed it and it dies. Some day, many many pets down to road, I might be ready for child rearing. I kind of doubt it though.

Dracaena marginata commonly called Red-edge Dracaena or Madagascar dragon tree, and can grow to 15 feet in height, supported by a long, slender trunk or "cane".

Gotta love quotin' those folks with bad grammar.

And now... for the rest of my Sunday... a ridiculous amount of homework.

"Well kids looks like this year we're gonna have an IMAGINARY Christmas."
"Yay! Imaginary Christmas!"
"I got a pogo stick!" *pretends to pogo*

God I'm tired. I'm tired of people asking me what highschool I go to. I'm tired of people telling me how things are, like I've never seen anything. I'm tired of people assuming I'm every other college kid, worthless, aimless, and totally unreliable. I'm tired of being talked down to, talked around, and I guess frankly I'm kind of tired of being talked to at all. I'm really sick of people assuming the worst of me, and underestimating me. I can't change the way I look. I won't change the way I act. But I am going to change my tolerance for being treated like every other fucking worthless idiot college kid. I'm not going to be nice about it any more. I think I'm just going to start being more condescending to people. If they want to treat me like I'm young, I'm going to treat them like they're stupid. I figure that's pretty fair :) I'm unappreciated, misunderstood, and I'm not going to take it any more! Meeee-yow.
posted by 00k at 7:35 PM

You know what the difference between gradeschool/highschool learning and higher learning is? In highschool they tell you you have to do your math in pencil. In college, they tell you that it is wise to do your math in pencil. I think that sums it up.
posted by 00k at 12:35 AM

I think they should invent some kind of membrane or something that goes over our skin and tells us how much damage we've inflicted. See, I was standing in my closet on top of this big chest thingy, and I stepped down, and scraped my back across the corner of my dresser. That hurt really bad for like 30 seconds. Then I was okay. Anyways... that was pretty typical for me. And that's why I'd like to be able to see how much damage I do to myself on average. Noone else hurts me really... but I hurt myself all the time just being an idiot. I still fall down the stairs in the house I've lived in for nearly my entire life. I trip on coffee tables that have been in the same place for two years. I walk into stuff, doorways, doors, banisters, chairs, you name it. I trip on really obvious stuff, and I trip on stuff you wouldn't think it possible to trip on. I must be the most uncoordinated person in the entire world. Only I think I'm pretty coordinated. I used to be able to get up on the roof and back down and barely make a sound when I was a teenager. That meant climbing on top of this creaky old banister, grabbing an overhead wooden beam, lifting myself up, swinging up my legs, and then doing it all backwards to get down. I could drop off that thing just like a cat and barely make a sound... it was great. I can be really stealthy. So that's why it surprises me that I'm so clumsy now... I'm like an oblivious ninja. I'm really observant... except when it comes to actually paying attention to what the hell I'm doing or anything that matters. It's almost like I was given this great spider sense, and that gift wiped out any of the normal, standard package ability I would've had. Pretty silly. With these extra powers though I can easily explain away why I'm so socially inept. You can't have EVERYTHING going for you.

I figure if I took more vitamins, ate healthier, got more exercise, I could probably be pretty agile. I just don't see the point at this time. Some day perhaps... when my carpal tunnel syndrome is too bad to spend all my time on a computer. I'm going to make a great ninja. What I can't figure out is how to deal with my hair. I don't want to just stuff it all under my ninja garb. My body isn't good enough to get by on it's own... I really need my hair. Well luckily I have plenty of time to think of something. I guess there's more to being a ninja than wearing black and covering your face. Muslims aren't ninja's after all. Guess I'll have to learn some kung fu martial arts shit at some point. I bet they will know what I should do with my hair.
posted by 00k at 12:35 AM

Well the good news is my remote control for my car alarm is like $100 or more to replace. Yep. That's good news alright. Expensive lessons are the best kind to learn. Because then when you're all pissed off some day, and you think the whole world is against you, you can remember that time when you managed to drop something expensive into a glass of soda and totally fucked yourself over. And then you can feel worse. Because then you know noone's out to get you, you're just a total fuckup all on your own. But see, it means you are in charge of your own destiny! If only everyone could be as optimistic as me.

I wish I could do something noone else could do. Then when people got mad at me for not doing something, for not remembering to do something, or for not calling someone, or not writing something down, I could say "Okay, can you ________ the _________? No, I didn't think so. Kindly fuck off.". I guess that's why Einstein was so cool. He did a ton of really impressive shit, but I don't think he ever said dumb stuff like that. Humility is one of the most important virtues a person can have, especially an important person. The only reason I get away with being such a prideful bitch, is because I have so little to actually be proud of. If I was really accomplished, and I had this same attitude, I bet people would hate me (more so). Now, when I'm prideful, people just think it's funny, because it's so absurd.

It occurs to me I forgot to make a music section. When I do make this section... I'm going to put up a few Impulse Tracker songs I have from a few years ago. They're pretty neat. This is mainly a reminder to myself to do it.

Last item of the day... Check out Jobless Jimmy's site if you haven't already. Pretty funny stuff... funny enough for it to achieve link status here. I hope his server can handle all the traffic my link will bring! Ha ha! What?


posted by 00k at 11:15 PM

Well the good news is I finally formatted and reinstalled. The bad news is I haven't installed any of my software so I'm updating this page with Wordpad. Wordpad is not so good. Even worse news though is that I dropped my keys into a glass of Pepsi. But not even the actual keys... just the fucking remote for my car alarm. First it was beeping. It beeped a whole bunch of times. Now it's lit up all green, and the face is blank. Upon closer examination by taking out the battery, I realize the insides are wet. Boy... I sure hate myself today. I think it's going through it'd death throes. It keeps beeping and the power is flickering. God fucking dammit. I have goddamn fucking English homework to do. I hate my life. God fucking dammit. That is all.
posted by 00k at 10:25 AM

If I ever teach my kids anything, I hope it's that they're never too young to die. So they're never too young to have a will. Will's just make everything administratively simple when ya die. It's really something everyone should do out of consideration for their loved ones. With that in mind... I write my will.

On this day, September 6th, of the year 2003, I, Sarah Jameson, hereby declare this my legally binding, totally for-real will. My witness, the world. In the case of my death, I leave my computer to my brother for him to do with as he wishes. I ask that my harddrive be soaked in some kind of acid, then frozen, then smashed into oblivion, with the pieces burned, and thrown off a cliff. That... or a low level format. There isn't really anything cool on either of my harddrives... but I really hate the idea of people going through my shit after I'm gone. And that's my shit. My linux box can go to terminal. My car, to my mom or back to my brother... they can flip for it. My fish, I would hope my mom would keep taking care of for me. My clothes... Goodwill. My books... up for grabs among friends and family. My mom can sell all my furniture or use it or something. And uhhmmmm... well I think I have like $20 in my bank account. I guess that can go towards paying for my cremation.

Well shit... I guess that's all I really have. Shit that's depressing. I'm way too poor to die! What the hell am I doing writing a will?

And why the hell are they showing all these Barbie commercials at 1am on the cartoon network? What kid that's buying Barbie's is up at one in the morning? Goddamn... I swear the worlds all fucking crazy. I'm going to bed.
posted by 00k at 1:30 AM

I guess naturally sometimes we all remember that we're going to die, and that we're not going to be able to do anything about it. And sometimes maybe we all remember every aspect of our lives we're unhappy with all at once, and we remember that we don't have anyone to share these moments of panic with, we can only have people that talk us out of them. I think it's good to freak out every once in a while. To not be able to breathe. To wonder what we're doing with our lives... and to marvel at how short they seem when we think about it. How brief and insignificant our existences are. It's terrifying sometimes when you remember that you could not be alive tomorrow. That something could happen that was completely out of your control, and through no fault of your own, you could just not be around any more. And your family and friends will be left wondering where you were, and wishing they'd have had more time, and that they'd have known you better.

It's easy to be busy enough to where you just don't have much time for introspection. That's one way to go through life. But it's kind of like walking with your head down. If you're always looking down, or inward, doing your own thing, keeping busy and active, who knows what all you'll miss going on around you. Who knows what kind of things you'll never know... because you never thought about them. It's not the right way to live. You have to keep productive to justify your purpose in the universe I think. If you aren't productive, you could easily be wiped off the face of the earth, and from a distance, that's probably a better thing for the rest of the world. That to me, is a tragedy. Being productive is how you justify your life, and the burden you are on this planet. The air and resources you consume. If you contribute, it's okay to consume. Consumation without contribution is a sin. Now who's the idiot that made that word not mean what it'd make the most sense to mean? Was it Merriam, or Webster? I'll bet it was Webster. He sounds like the rebel of the two. You can tell Merriam's a total mama's boy.

It's good though sometimes to just stop and be really scared. I think a lot of people don't slow down until they have to, like when someone dies, or they're faced with illness. That's not good. Then it probably hits you like a pile of bricks. If you think all the time, then you're more ready for that shit, it doesn't jolt you out of some dream state. Anyhow... I've managed to say a whole lot of nothin' in three paragraphs. Think I'll take a little drive to the bank. I might die, and you might never see me again. You won't know, because odds are you don't talk to me all the time, or see me every day. There are very few people in my life that would notice right away if I died. That's pretty depressing. I guess if I am going to die, and I am, that inspires me to make a big deal out of it so I make the news. Who will speak at my funeral? I wouldn't want anyone to. Funerals just make already sad people sadder. I would rather everyone got together, dumped my ashes somewhere pretty, and then went home. Who would be able to speak well enough anyhow? I'm a real critic. If I were alive I'd be bitching about something. If noone said anything, I don't think I'd have anything to complain about. Except maybe the weather. What a lousy human being I am. Funerals shouldn't be for the dead... they should be for everyone else. I think I'll write a will later.
posted by 00k at 11:22 PM

Happy Labor Day everyone! And happy September. Why do they call it Labor Day if you don't have to work? Because long ago, someone put idiots in charge of naming everything. Today is a good day though. I worked on this script all weekend to try to get it to do what I wanted. I failed to do anything else I was supposed to do like formatting and reinstalling, homework, reading, cleaning my room, highlighting my hair, and laundry. BUT, it does work now. And I really couldn't be happier. It's actually pretty simple. It started out philosophically simple, and I thought "Yeah cool this will be easy.". But then when I went to do it it actually got really hard. But not too hard. It's a piece of a huge project I've been working on for a while now. At some point I'll have enough done to where it'll be worth putting it up in my little unix section. Not yet though I don't think.

I'm pretty happy I got it working finally... so I'm going to put it all here. For one, then I can admire it. For two, then I look smart to anyone that doesn't do any scripting. But then I look stupid to anyone that does. But I figure the majority of my readers don't, so this should be impressive. Those of you that do, keep in mind I'm new at this. Those of you that don't, just think of me as your God.

The cool thing anyway about this script that you can appreciate even if you don't give a shit about the script is that I can make like 300 emails into 300 webpages really fast and have the html already all done, including links, which is something I need to do at work that was going to take me a ridiculous amount of time to do myself by hand. So now I will have lots more time to do... other work.

I'm quite sure noone cares but I'm going to explain it anyhow. I started out with a big text file full of stacked html pages. This is strange admittedly, so let me explain why this is. I get all the stories I have to make into webpages via email. They come to me and they look like crap, with all the forwarding arrows and whatnot. I already have a script that strips off all the html headers and whatnot and formats it all. So I use that script on all the emails (which are in one big file). Then I change email headers to html headers and add a footer to the bottom of each email. And that's why I have a big file full of stacked html pages.

htmlformat.pl

#!/usr/bin/perl

# htmlformat.pl
# by Sarah
# A perl script to divide up a preformatted text file with html
# tags into a bunch of html files

# Prompt to find out what file to format

print "Enter the name of the file you'd like divided into html files: ";
$filename = ;
chomp $filename;

# Test to see that file exists

if ( -e $filename ) {
        print "$filename it is!\n";
} else {
        print "Either that file doesn't exist or I can't edit it - sorry.\n";
        die;
}

$orig_todivide = $filename;
$counter = 0;

# Set up a few variables like our story directory
 
$date = `date +%m%d%y`;
chomp $date;

# Is there a data directory created with todays date under stories?

$datadir = "stories/$date";

if ( -e $datadir ) {
        print "Stories will be placed in $datadir\n";
} else {
        print "Please make a $date directory under stories.\n";
        die;
}

# Start our main part of the script which will search for < html > to < /html >
# and dump everything between (including) to an html file

open (ORIGFILE, $orig_todivide) || die "Couldn't open $orig_todivide file";
while (< ORIGFILE >) {
        open (DIVIDED, ">>$datadir/$date$counter.htm") || die "Couldn't open $datadir/$date$counter.htm to append";
                if (/^\< html \>/) {
                        print DIVIDED $_;
                } elsif (/^\< \/html\ >/) {
                        print DIVIDED $_;
                        $counter++;
                        print "Created $date$counter.htm!\n";
                        close DIVIDED;
                } elsif (/.*/) {
                        print DIVIDED $_;
                }
}
close ORIGFILE;

print "Next use index-make.csh to make the index!\n";

#!/bin/csh

# index-make.csh
# by Sarah
# This script should make an index for all the stories in the stories directory
# First it will make a text index then html with links for all of them

# Set up data dir
set date = `date +%m%d%y`;
set datadir = "stories/$date"

# Grep for all of our story titles

grep -C1 -A0 -B0 'class="header"' $datadir/*.htm > $datadir/index

# Sed will make them look nice text-wise

sed -f sedindex $datadir/index > $datadir/index_new

# This perl script will make an html index of all the stories

./htmlformat-index.pl

This is the sed script referenced above - had to add some backslashes so the html wouldn't html-ize: 

s/<\p align="center" class="header" > *//g
s/.htm:  */.htm: /g
s/
<\/p>/<\/p>/g
s/:/-/2
s/:/-/2
s/:/-/2
s/<\/p>$//

#!/usr/bin/perl

# htmlformat-index.pl
# by Sarah
# After we've made an index grepping for title lines and then sed'ing away all the code we don't want,
# Now we want to build html from that index that we made

# set up date variable and print date

$date = `date +%m%d%y`;
chomp $date;
print "Todays date: $date\n";
        
$datadir = "stories/$date";

# Open the index to read, and an index to write html to

open (INDEX, "$datadir/index_new") || die "Couldn't open the index!";
open (HTMLINDEX, ">$datadir/index$date.htm") || die "Couldn't create the html index!";
while (< INDEX >) {
        chomp;
        ($filename, $title) = split (/:/);
        foreach $fn ($filename) {
                print HTMLINDEX "< p >< a href=$filename >$title< /a >< /p >\n";
        }
}

close INDEX;
close HTMLINDEX;
print "See $datadir/index$date.htm\n";