The best thing about never doing laundry is that when you finally end up doing it, it's like you have all these new clothes cuz you forgot about them. They're not really new, but they're fresh in the rotation. That's like new.

Here's my question for the day. How did I manage to get any kind of watch tan when I don't go outside? Could I possibly get a watch line from my 30 minute drive home? It's very slight... but when the hell do I tan anyways? It'd just be my luck that I never ever tan until it means I'll get a watch line. Mother nature hates me.
posted by 00k at 7:33 PM

I had another idea for not really an invention, but more like for an addition. I think my car needs a periscope. I don't know why cars don't have periscopes now, I mean, everyone likes a periscope. People love them in movies, how they drop down, and the handles pop out, and you get to look all around and yell shit like "Crimony! Giant squid off the port bow!" or whatever. Plus people love looking at why traffic is stopped... that's why you always see people swerving off into the bike lanes to check out the situation up ahead. Think if we all had periscopes... it'd be great. And think of the hundreds of bikers lives we'd save. They should be able to zoom in too... in case the real ones in submarines don't already do that. Then too if you were stuck in traffic, you could check everyone out... spy on people in their cars... read far away billboards... hours of amusement. I'm going to put one on my car and see if it takes off as a trend. I can really see it catching on with the white trash crowd. How exciting to be a trend setter for white trash! It probably won't be the first time.

I guess there are probably safety concerns involved with giving drivers something they'll put their faces to that will completely remove their driving coordination and awareness of the road, along with rendering their peripheral vision void, but I'm going to pretend for now that it'll be like a cellphone. An idiot is an idiot, whether they're on a cellphone or whether they're trying to reach change under their back seat while applying lipstick. I just can't be held responsible for these people... if my inventions hurt them, well... gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette. Or whatever.



People come to this site... and they read all my crap... and then they don't sign the guestbook. Do you know what that's like? That's like going all the way to Japan, and only eating American food. Well, no not really. But it's probably like something. I'm going to start posting for people. I'm going to log IP's, and showing where everyone with whatever IP went and what all they looked at. Then I'm going to post it in my guestbook. Like,"Hi I'm Al, and I only looked at the pictures of 00k when she was little in the bathtub. I'm a dirty old man.". Hell, I might even make some shit up. See this way, people will be afraid to NOT sign, because they will fear what I will sign for them. Yeah, I figure this plan should make people stop coming here probably the same day I initiate it. Sweeet. Long live fleeting glory.

There are four moths trapped in the area between my screen and my window. I think this is what the Apocolypse will be like... a million little annoyances. Nothing drastic, just a little influx in the moth population, let's not run around hollering "plague!" yet. This is how it will be though if there ever is an apocolypse. Death by interruption. Annihilation by annoyance. Expiration by... well I'm out of synonyms. And now there are six moths. I guess I should shut my blind... I'm not running some kind of suicide clinic here. Not for FREE anyways.
posted by 00k at 9:34 PM

What's new, Lucy Liu. Nothing, nothing at all. I've been cleaning fish tanks... feeding various assortments of animals... faxing... formatting text into webpages... formatting text into newsletters... faxing... answering phones... forwarding calls... taking messages... fixing broken things... breaking fixed things... learning... forgetting... learning again... forgetting again... faxing... waking up at weird hours... yawning at inappropriate times.
posted by 00k at 10:49 PM

Finished a design for the fish section. It's different. Go look at it. Now. Please? 00k's Fish Section. I made a teaser for it, it's on the left over there. Intriguing! I'm going to update the fish section a little like I update this section. It'll be kind of like my fish having their own blog, I'm just the messenger. Of course it'll be from my point of view. So really it'll be like me having a regular blog, and then me having a blog about fish. Yeah, that sounds about right.

It burrrrnnnnsssss ahhhhhhhhhh. I made the little mistake of messing with the fish tank, then rubbing my eyes. Fifteen minutes is a long time to rinse out your eyes. PLUS, how are you supposed to call a physician if you're blind? Huh? Where's the warning label for THAT? I don't know either.
posted by 00k at 10:49 PM

Ethical question of the day: Is it wrong to subject your friends to sociological experiments if they're unaware of it? Hmmm.

I guess I have to make a links section so some asshole doesn't paint me out to be some kind of ungrateful bitch for not linking to him. What a world hehe. That'll be up soon... you can expect it to have about 5 links probably. Woo.

I bought Age of Mythology. So far it seems okay. I got my ass kicked pretty thoroughly my first game versus the computer, so that's a good sign. I will write a more thorough review of it when I am more familiar with it.

I haven't read my English homework yet. I didn't get the linux laptop nic card set up yet. I don't know perl yet. I haven't finished all my thank you cards yet. My laundry isn't done. My room isn't clean. However I have found a brand of conditioner I'm really happy with, so I feel like I've accomplished enough for right now. Huzzah!

What a crappy entry. But I'm building up to something good, I swear. Riiiight.
posted by 00k at 6:43 PM

Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Lots to say lots to say. Haven't updated in a few days.

Thought of the day: Being an adult means when your pets die, noone replaces them with a similar pet while you're gone.

I'm working on my dedicated fish section, which will contain such great stories as "Birth and Death: A Lifetime in Three Days", and "Ecological Disasters: How NOT to Play God". All fish updates will be posted to this section, as I realize maybe not everyone is as interested in my fish as I am. Coming soon!

On to current events. In recent news, Bryan Mack of www.fleetmack.com has dubbed me a hero for saving his ailing guestbook. What can I say, I did what I had to do. I'm 00k, and I help people. I hope noone tells him how easy it was to fix, then he might remove my hero status. I don't think anyone wants that.

What else is new. I'm building my brothers computer. It doesn't work. It makes me sad. At least it'll be really nice when it does actually work. Note the use of "when".

Boy, I had about five million things to say. But now I can't remember any of them. That's a shame.
posted by 00k at 9:19 PM

Well... wouldn't you know it... I got honked at again today. And, upon giving it more thought, I realized someone honked at me about a week and a half ago for the same reason the guy that honked at me today honked at me - for not using a merge lane. I've never really been too big on merge lanes. They're okay on highways. But on normal roads in heavy traffic, you really look like an ass just sitting in some merge lane when you have no prayer of merging. Use it if you can, I will if I can spot an opening, but don't drive to the end of it then sit there like some pathetic kicked puppy just because IT'S THERE.

Anyhow, I sure got honked at. And that guy sure got flipped off and laughed at. The turn lane people had JUST finished going by, and apparently this guy wanted me to just fling myself into the fray regardless of what happened to be there, despite the knowledge that after the turn lane people go, I'd have that section of the road to myself. Impatient motherfucker I guess. I came pretty close to just sitting there and making him wait, you know, to see if his head would explode. That's what I'm going to do next time.

I was worried initially that maybe I really AM a bad driver, because all these people are getting mad at me. But I never used to get honked at, and I was thinking about that. What's different now is that I drive a flashy red sports car without tinted windows. Before, I drove a crappy blue hatchback with tinted windows. I suspect most people hate me on sight because they think I'm some dumb bitch with a fast car that can't drive for shit. It's a stereotype of course, and of course I'D hate me if I saw me. But not if I didn't do anything wrong, goddamn. I think everyone is jealous of me. I also think merge lanes are not worth honking over. And finally, I think the next fucker that honks at me is getting special treatment. Whatever he's honking at me for, won't matter. Cuz I'm gonna screw with that poor bastard. I DARE someone to honk at me again. Bring it.

To hopefully conclude my zombeef "driving" segment, I'd like to close with this final thought. It's easy to imagine that we are all the best drivers in our own minds, but what really matters is not how people think we drive, but how we know we drive. The people we let in, the people we wave over, the bicyclists we slow down for, the pedestrians we stop for in parking lots. These are the things that matter. The consideration that comes from the knowledge that we're all in the same boat together, and it doesn't have to be an ugly ride if we all do our part and stay positive. Don't sweat the small stuff, as they say.

You can honk at me if you like. You can scream obscenities and give me the bird. But you will never take from me the knowledge I have in my heart that I am a good and considerate driver. Noone can ever take that away from me! And for honking, you are just a sad, petty little person.
posted by 00k at 12:32 AM

I got honked at AND yelled at driving today. I rounded off a corner coming home, and some old blonde bitch in a red jetta honks at me and yells something about lanes out her window at me. I was flattered. It's not every day that someone takes the time to scream out their moving car at you. A honk is pretty passive, I mean it's socially kind of a big deal because it's like making a big scene. But it's not very personal. But yelling, that's a real bonus. That takes time, effort, thought, all that good stuff. I must've really made her mad.

I didn't actually come anywhere near her car... I just made her have to slow down sooner for the stop sign she had. Seems kind of silly to even honk about that, but to yell also? I think she might have anger issues. The funny thing is that I'm totally 100% sure she's a shitty driver. Because good drivers don't yell shit out their windows and honk at people. They realize there are more important things in life than getting pissed off about the infinite number of bad drivers out there that make an infinite amount of poor driving decisions. Good drivers don't fly off the handle every time someone AROUND them does something crappy, or they'd never get any actual good driving done.

No, I'm quite sure she's a lousy driver too. But I'm not a bad driver, let's go ahead and set the record straight about that. I let people in when they signal, I always give the wave when someone lets me in. I make good stops even when they're at stupid places, I never run lights, I never cut people off. My only vice is that I generally drive around 10 miles over the limit. But that's nothing compared to the stuff people are out doing every single day in this crazy town. I love the idiots that cross 5 lanes of traffic last minute, barely missing a barrier and three other cars, just because they were about to miss their exit and didn't realize it. I don't feel bad for any of those bastards, they can hit the barrier every time for all I care. Is your exit so important to you that you're willing to make this ridiculously unsafe maneuver to get to it, risking your own life and limbs, and also other drivers on the road? Are you in that big of a hurry, that you're willing to risk a head on collision with large blocks of cement and bigass containers of water to avoid having to backtrack a mile? Cuz you know, if you DIE, you're going to be REALLY LATE TO WORK. These risk takers can just go to hell... try and prioritize for a change you lot of crazies. Life is precious and shit.

Anyways, I flipped her off out my window. They say the best revenge is living well. I figure since I had a good laugh at her pathetic, sad, hypocritical bad driving bitchy ass, that's about as good a revenge as could be imagined. Well that and making fun of her on my webpage that she'll never see. I'm not cowardly, just unpopular.
posted by 00k at 11:49 PM

I figure everyone, at some point in their lives, is looking for something. We're all searching at some point. I think there are people that search to find the things they can buy that will bring them temporary happiness. I think there are people that look for people that can fill in the empty spaces in their lives. You can surround yourself with people or you can surround yourself with things. But what is it really that makes you look to begin with? Christians would tell you that this is what life is like before you find Jesus, always searching, and never happy. I think that's a fine selling point for Christianity, but I don't buy it. What are people looking for really? I think we all look for someone that will understand us and appreciate us the way we understand and appreciate ourselves. Maybe some people mask this desire by buying things, or keeping busy, but these people are just as alone. They are just as alone, they just have less time to think about it. I think we're all looking for our other halves, our whole lives. To me, it feels almost as if I was born with a piece of me missing, just waiting to be filled by the presence of someone else in my life. I don't generally approve of the man-is-flawed school of thought, it sounds too much like an excuse usually. But I think when it comes to love, everyone is flawed. And finding someone that suits you, that fits you as well as you fit yourself, that is what makes you right and better than you were before. I don't know if it's always possible to find that person, and I don't know if it's ever possible that there are multiple people like that out there for any one person. I don't know. But I do think based on my own observations that that is a lot of what the "point" of life is. For people to find their matches. And I'm okay with that.
posted by 00k at 2:25 PM

Today I acquired a neat little Redhat sticker. It's not real flashy, fairly small, just has a pic of the logo and their web address under it. I thought to myself, hey, he has a red hat, and I have a red car. This sticker would look good on my car if I just cut out the little circle logo. But THEN I thought to myself, am I really entitled to put linux stickers on my car yet? I've only been in this unix game for about 10 months now, I can't possibly be hardcore. But I don't know how long you have to wait or how much experience you have to acquire before you can safely title yourself an enthusiast in this biz without being labelled some kind of poser. I don't know. I think if maybe I pass the second half of my solaris cert, that I could stop being a poser and start being an enthusiast fairly safely. Then I'd have some kind of title at least. I'm not sure though. I mean, what if someone asked me about linux as I was stepping out of my car, and I couldn't "hang"? That'd make me a poser for sure. I sure don't know as much about linux as I do solaris. I'd be easy to corner... so it'd be a risk! I don't think it's a risk I'm willing to take at this time. These non-Windows lot are a tough group after all. But I will work towards it. It will be among my long term goals, like buying a house.

I guess maybe if you have to ask yourself if you're a poser, then you probably are.

I'm learning perl a little bit at a time for my admin stuff at school. It's really neat. I wrote not long ago that unix brings everything together because there's a little unix everywhere. Of course this carries right over into perl. My knowledge feels so DYNAMIC. I like that. I'm going to work on my script section more shortly, as I'll also have perl scripts to add (whoopee). The little setup my instructor has me working on is a kind of quiz question database thing, where you enter into a form the kind of questions you want and how many, and it finds those questions in a flat database and prints out a form for you to take them. It'll be really neat when it's all done, and I will be that much smarter. Hooray for me and my resume.
posted by 00k at 12:29 AM

Hey hey, my my. A few thoughts on death, of which I was formerly not too familiar with.

I think it's interesting that you can choose when you want to go, but you can't choose not to when you don't. That seems profound... but I'm not really sure why. It's interesting to think of all the people that would give anything to live just another day, then in the same minute, to think of the people that have thrown their lives away. What changes? People. Time. Situations. Strength and weakness. Health and unhealthiness. A sound mind or an unsound one. It's lifelike, in how people say "That's life". It's very lifelike that some people want to die, where others that have to die want nothing more than to live. That's life. Or more accurately, that's death. What some cherish others spoil. What some hold dear, others mock. A gift here, is a curse somewhere else. It's so infinitely and amazingly intricate, this everything that we're all doing here, existence or whatever. I don't really see the ironies as something worth getting upset about. Why thrash against the things that are set? Why worry about what you can't change? It is. The foundation for much of what I feel passionately about, the phrase "It is", is key. And it applies here.

It is apparent that things in my mind can be however I wish to see them. I can imagine him in some magical place where everything is good and perfect and there is no sadness. I can imagine him looking down and watching my family and me. I can imagine that he has no more pain, and that he is finally at peace. This is what my mother imagines. Or I can imagine that he is in hell, in more pain than he could imagine here, and that he totally screwed himself over. Maybe in hell he is tormented with the suffering of those he left behind. I could also imagine that he is nowhere, and nothing. That his body moves no more and his spirit went away with it to nowhere and became nothing but a memory. Or I can imagine that his spirit floats, and watches, or waits to join a new body, for another shot at life somewhere else with no memory of past mistakes, only a new, fresh outlook in a new cavity he will call his body. That is not an unpleasant vision. What do I really think? I think he's become nothing. That there is no he to refer to in the present tense, because all that he is, is now all that he was. There is no is. He isn't happy or unhappy. Because he isn't. It is not particularly pleasant, but it is not particularly unpleasant either to think of it this way. It just is.

The funeral is Wednesday.
posted by 00k at 12:09 AM

My friend Dan took pictures of my fish for me (thanks Dan). I will probably buy more tomorrow because they have a bigger tank now. They seem to like their new tank, with a heater and everything. Names are still unresolved.



My dad passed away yesterday. I don't know how to talk about that though.
posted by 00k at 11:40 PM

June already. Life continues to slip by... one month and one lousy archive at a time heh.

First of all I'd like to give a shoutout to my homey up in Fort Collins, my cousin Mitchell. Thanks for reading cuz'... keep it real northside in the FC. That makes like 3 readers! I'm movin up baby.

Let's see. I bought my fish! Don't have pictures yet because some loser forgot to bring his camera and I don't have one. But that will all change soon, cuz I'm making dollars. I'm going to give my fish a webcam show, so I suppose you will all see them in good time. They're going to have their own section of zombeef of course... maybe... but I may put the cam stuff on here. I guess it'd be a matter of bandwidth. Plus if I want to check on them from work, I don't want anyone seeing all the bitching I do about work and the people I work with on this page. Worlds need not collide. They'll also be receiving names shortly, it's a tough decision though. We'll see. And now, for a review.

Finding Nemo

Spectacular movie! Impressive, great storyline, great characters, funny as hell. I don't think I could actually write a review that would do this movie justice, I only write bad reviews. But I'm going to give a brief one anyhow.

This movie was great. The animation is really amazing, I'd love to see it on an IMAX screen. Since it's mostly underwater, you get to see a different world pretty much, and a better one than The Little Mermaid could swing at the time. The best part about this movie I think though is the characters. All the characters are really interesting and creative. They all have really interesting personalities and funny quirks. They're all just really funny. I guess I have nothing real great to say heh. Who wants to see pictures!


posted by 00k at 10:37 PM

Double-O
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