06.26.09

Song of the day: Badly Drawn Boy - Silent Sigh

I can't decide which is worse: being lazy or being indifferent. I've been using comcast's webmail for oh, since 5/25 when I reloaded. I haven't installed a mail client, because I can't be bothered to remember what my mail server settings are, nor can I be bothered to find the key I have for The Bat! somewhere. I'm even fairly certain I know where I put it. So either I am lazy as fuck, or I just don't give a fuck. Either way, I guess I only change when its really really painful for me not to. I was thinking about the state of my garage the other day. I have a tendency to get working on stuff, and instead of taking the time to put something away that I use briefly, I think I save time by not putting it away right then. But then of course time passes and then everything is out everywhere, and I'm tripping on it, or kicking it into something else, or whatever. It of course becomes a much larger nuisance at that point, at that point I'm actually like "Motherfucker! Goddamn... cord... thing..." etc. So really, its a case of present Sarah once again screwing over future Sarah, and in this case, for a very minimal present-gain. I truly am my worst enemy... hands down. So whether it's laziness or indifference that causes me to screw myself over, in the end, I am screwed either way. That kind of pisses me off... but I don't think quite enough to change my ways (says that bitch Present Sarah). I should really clean up my language. Hmm.

So with that out there, I should probably provide an update on my life, as that is the point here isn't it? June. So in June I worked, I slept a bit, ate some, fill in gaps with repetitive tasks, and there ya have it. Pretty uneventful June. Pretty uneventful life actually. I should work on that... maybe next month.

Y'know what's really great? When you hear a song you forgot you loved because you don't hear it all the time and its fallen out of your mp3 collection. And suddenly you hear it again and you're thinking "Oh yeah, I love that song!", and then you go download it, and then you have it again and can listen to it whenever you want, and your life is just a little bit better. That's my song of the day... its in the movie About a Boy which I just watched. I liked that movie, I found it to be humorous and I can relate to the main character who has also had a mostly uneventful life. It also has a great little reference, I love it when this happens, planned or not. The kid in that movie opens by saying that there are people that have happy lives, and he's coming to accept he isn't one of those people. That leads into how he hates school and would want to be homeschooled but he'd have to pay his mom a lot for her to quit her job, and the only way he could make that kind of money would be if he was an actor like Haley Joel Osment who was the kid in Sixth Sense. What's great is that the kid in About a Boy and Haley Joel Osment in Sixth Sense have the same actress playing their mom. So I dunno if that's a gag but I found it humorous. I guess I like to see how actors/actresses are connected by different movies. Rachel Weisz is also in About a Boy, who has previously earned a mention in my blog on 3/18, dubbed "that chick from the Mummy and probably other stuff". Small world that Hollywood. I will stop italicizing now. Or... now.

05.25.09

Song of the day: Modest Mouse - Baby Blue Sedan

Well, I have reloaded yet again. Any more, I just like to reload my PC when I'm bored. Its my new favorite diversion. Not really though, actually my machine just rebooted itself one day and then couldn't find a boot disk. So a checkdisk and failed repair later, and I'm back at zero, installing all my crap again. At least my harddrive didn't fail, just my OS, so I still had all my actual data that I care about on a separate partition so that didn't have to get restored from whenever I last backed everything up. I also managed to kill another power supply... I've swapped the power supply in my PC twice in the last probably 6 months... its getting a little ridiculous. Apparently power supplies would rather die than serve me. I'm trying not to take it too personally... but what's so bad about MEEEeeeeeee?

I always install Winamp and I always like my songs to count down rather than count up. I think counting down is a lot more interesting. Wouldn't it be weird if instead of saying how old we are, if we knew how many years we had left to live? So then when you asked someone their age, you wouldn't ask them their age, you'd ask them their expiration date, and they'd say "15 years left". Then if someone said "3 days left" you'd be way nicer to them probably.

I saw Star Trek, as in the movie that's out right now. I never watched the original Star Trek TV series, only Next Generation, but I still liked it, I just probably missed some of the finer points by not being familiar with the characters. It was good though, I liked it a lot. They also played the trailer to the new Harry Potter movie, (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince), which looks awesome. It will be out July 15th, so that's a day I shall have to take off from work. Who wants to go in on a Monday anyway?

I've done a lot to my backyard over the last 5 days, since I took off a few days to work on it (in my traditional end of May style of wrapping a vacation around Memorial Day, more bang for your PTO buck). I went to take pictures but my camera battery is dead for some reason. I swear, everything around me just up and dies. People should fear me.

05.10.09

Song of the day: Vega 4 - Let Go

I just finished watching My Favorite Wife with Cary Grant and Irene Dunne. Not too thrilling. Were you aware that Cary Grant was named so by Paramount Studios? Actually Archibald Leach from birth, poor guy. Do you suppose he'd been as popular if they hadn't given him such a classic name, or is it only a classic name because Cary Grant made it so? I can't imagine giving up my name for a screen name, unless of course it was equally classy. Do you suppose he stopped being called Archibald? Or is it just a screen name, making him a character in a character? Who knows. I'd rather not know actually, I like the mystique of not knowing. We can't know everything, after all. Apparently Cary Grant never played a villain, either. He was a very interesting actor. I've read maybe 3 biographies in my life, I think Cary Grant's is up there with Jesus on the interesting level. Also a bit more believable, I'm not sure Jesus's biographers were on the level.

I would like to know why I can't buy half a loaf of bread. Who decided that a loaf of bread should always be the same length? How does one person go through an entire loaf of bread before it goes bad? This world just isn't meant for people that eat alone. Perhaps I should have some kids so I can stop wasting bread. That's as good a reason as any I'm sure. I think I should write a letter to Sara Lee. Y'know what grosses me out? Mincemeat pie. I don't really know what the hell it is but meat and pie shouldn't go together. I like pot pies though, which is weird. I must take issue with the "mince" part. Words words words.

04.25.09

I just finished the book Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. I enjoyed it thoroughly, a gothic tale of romantic suspense to echo the cover. It was great, I really enjoyed it. I'm not usually too into what I'd call scenery description in books although I'm sure that has a fancier name, however I really appreciated it in Rebecca. It did have an important place in the storyline so that may be why I appreciated it more, or it may be that I'm pining for spring and any taste of it I eagerly lap up. Either way I'm glad I read that book, it reminded me of The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield which I've been meaning to read again, so I would say to anyone that has read one, they may appreciate the other, except I don't generally recommend books, so I wouldn't actually say that.

04.25.09

Song of the day: Leave Out All the Rest - Linkin Park

I dreamt this morning that I went to my high school reunion. This was no doubt triggered by my post below stating I would never go to a highschool reunion, apparently my subconscious thought I should give it a try. It was Halloween themed which is odd, I was wearing an odd black velvet dress that went all the way to the floor. People were dancing which I also found odd since we weren't allowed to dance at my private school but it was swing dancing so I thought it'd be okay, didn't occur to me to think we were adults now and could dance responsibly. I only recognized one girl initially although she didn't go to highschool with me, and one guy who seemed to be the son of one of my bosses at work, I knew his name but not his face. I decided to leave but found it was in a mall which had books and jewelry as part of the place I was in, so I thought I'd buy a flower book so my time wouldn't be a total waste, but then I decided I didn't care to buy it there so left out into the mall to find another book store.

At this point I noticed that I had no shoes on, just socks, and my dress had ridden up so that everyone could see my socks, so I pulled the waist down to cover my lack of shoes. I was in the mall by my mom's house that they're going to tear down but most of the different spokes you could take were entirely dark and I was a little scared. I ended up back at the book store Halloween party reunion and resolved to leave so I was making my way through the crowd when I recognized one of my best friends from high school and she saw me as well. We hugged and I said "Hi sweetie!" then I woke up.

So the most interesting part of that dream to me is my lack of shoes. Shoes to me mean protection for my feet, and I feel weird without shoes, I rarely hang out even in my house without them. I don't like going on my kitchen or bathroom floors without them. My fear of discovery of being without my shoes leads me to think that I was in an uncomfortable situation that I wasn't able to conform to or adapt to, my lack of shoes showed the world I had no business being dressed up and at a dance because I couldn't put myself together like everyone else there.

I'm reminded of high school, how my friends and I on chapel days (days where we had chapel for an hour or two where we'd listen to the fray and someone would give a sermon) would wear a skirt because we had to, but we'd wear pants and tennis shoes under it. The message I choose to take from myself for myself from this dream is that in the old days we got along with not fitting in by putting our own individual twist on it and making it fun for us. I think I should do the same with work, where yesterday I felt as if I was acting in a role I was unsuited for. Yes, I think that puts a nice bow on the dream, and I choose it to serve as that message. Thank you subconscious, I owe you one.

04.12.09

Song of the day: Here I Dreamt I was an Architect - The Decemberists

Today I found myself thinking that I am too sympathetic, but then wondering if I am actually too empathetic, which led to thinking I should be apathetic, which left me wondering why "pathetic" is found in all of those very different seeming words. Fortunately as this is the age of the internet, this information can be found here: www.etymonline.com. 1598, "pathetic: affecting the emotions, exciting the passions," from M.Fr. pathetique "moving, stirring, affecting" (16c.), from L.L. patheticus, from Gk. pathetikos "sensitive, capable of emotion," from pathetos "liable to suffer," verbal adj. of pathein "to suffer" (see pathos). Word origins are cool. I can go from interest to indifference with the flick of a letter. Now the question is how I can emulate language, and go from caring to uncaring with the flick of a switch in my mind? The more interesting question of course is that if I could do this, should I? That's almost cause for evil genius laughter but I don't think quite.

I tried to be cool recently. I signed up for Facebook thinking I would be so hip. I signed up and they asked me to put in the schools I went to so that I could see other people that went to my school. Great idea, that, except I didn't know anyone that it said I should. And then when I searched for people I knew in high school, they weren't there. Being hip for a moment has really let me down, so I don't think I'll do that again. I guess I didn't really want to find anyone anyways, I'm sure that would just be depressing somehow. Same reason I wouldn't go to a high school reunion, had I actually graduated and been invited to one. I'd like to see how people turned out out of passive anthropological interest (what DO cheerleaders do with themselves when all the cheering is over?), but I can't say I would really care about the majority of people there. It seems like the whole event would be oozing with desperation as well for people to prove how awesome their life is now, I'd no doubt feel that pressure too. The thought of it depresses me, how sad that we should be compelled to worry about such things.

04.18.09

Song of the day: Cartwheels - Reindeer Section

Did a minor site redesign here, mainly just changed the banner and the colors. I was going to do all new navi buttons but that was going to be a lot more work, so I settled. This is the new more mature face of Sarahtory, be ready for more serious and adult-like content.

04.12.09

Song of the day: Be Here Now - Ray Lamontagne

Lately I have this sick facination with reading random ads on craigslist. I call it sick because I look at things I have no interest in other than to be amused by the general somewhat-computer-literate-somewhat-literate populace of Colorado. Its kind of like people watching, but without them knowing. Anyway, along those lines, I can't help but sigh when I read many ads. First of all, just because the internet isn't actually printed word, does not excuse bad grammar or spelling. I don't think I'm a complete grammar nazi but I do expect a basic high school level of compentency from adults, and that expectation is of course my failing. Bad spelling can really undermine your message though, I'm not sure people realize that. For example, take this ad's headline "acheiver like myself lookin for a great date any night to have fun". That statement would be much more powerful and believable if "achiever" was spelled correctly. Obviously his achievements are not in the realm of literacy. I don't want to come off sounding high and mighty though, I'm by no means perfect. I bet I've made several errors in just this posting, although I hope not of the common sort at least. I do try though, and I guess that's what is lacking in the craigslist population, some good old fashioned honest effort. I long for correct punctuation, capitalized letters where appropriate, and correct spelling. But then maybe craigslist wouldn't be as much fun, and I wouldn't be able to make snap judgments about people and feel better about myself.

Anyhow, aside from being a grammatic slaughterhouse I do still find much to amuse me on craigslist. I'm thinking of posting an ad for a strictly platonic friendship, because I don't have any friends. Seems logical I guess. What's funny about that section is how many people post ads that are obviously not seekly a platonic relationship, quite the opposite actually. I have to assume they just don't know what platonic means? Dictionary.com is our friend: platonic: purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, esp. in a relationship between two persons of the opposite sex.

My options in the arena of finding a strictly-friend are either replying to someone elses ad or formulating my own. Its a bit sad though, putting out an ad for yourself. It'll be hard to not sound completely pathetic. There are many tactics available there, but I think the best one seems to be "just looking for *new* friends", that doesn't really give away the fact I'm a loser and have no current friends (although I just gave that away here - drat). I'll have to play it cool or I'm going to scare any potentials away. The cool thing about friend shopping though is that I can be all picky. Like if I hear from someone that has bad grammar I can be like "Uhh no thanks, like, I totally have way too many friends to hang out with someone that can't spell". Unfortunately I have impossibly high friendship standards (which I suspect is why I have no friends), so I'm not expecting great results. I'm going to post an ad though I think, yes I think I shall. I'll put it here too, y'know, for posterity (succeeding or future generations collectively: Judgment of this age must be left to posterity).

03.18.09

Song of the day: The Lightning Strike - by Snow Patrol

Forgot I had a blog again, so slight gap in updates. Tsk tsk. I like how my link on the left for "thoughts" goes to a "page not found" error. Seems pretty accurate for me.

Soooo March, the month of Mars. By the Roman calendar, March was the original beginning of the year. Its odd to think about a year beginning in March. Remember the uproar around changing daylight savings time? Imagine changing when the beginning of a new year is. I bet accountant suicides would skyrocket. The Ides of March happen in March... surprisingly enough. According to Wikipedia: The term ides was used for the 15th day of the months of March, May, July, and October. You never hear people refer to the ides of October though, because no one as famous as Julius Caesar was killed on the ides of October. Just an ide-l thought, I think if I was going to murder someone I would murder them on the ides of October, and make sure it was someone really good. October doesn't get enough respect.

I watched Definitely, Maybe with Van Wilder (Ryan Reynolds) and the crazy redhead chick from Wedding Crashers, and the chick from the Mummy movies, and probably some others. It was actually good for a love story, I liked it, and would recommend it overall to anyone that can appreciate a decent story, that happens to be about love too. Ryan Reynolds never fails to amuse me, I don't think I've seen a movie with him yet that I didn't love his character in. Oh yeah and the little girl from Nim's Island (which I didn't watch because that's totally a kids movie) is in it too. She was freaking great in Little Miss Sunshine, another movie I highly recommend to anyone that likes to laugh. What a moronic statement, do you think there are really people who don't like to laugh? I guess its possible... but I think even Nazis could appreciate a good Jew-joke. Not that that is any kind of endorsement of Jew jokes, or Nazis. Hmm.

A new paragraph is like a chance to start over without erasing your past, but which allows you to misdirect people from your past. I have a colorful past, so I find I often start new paragraphs in life. Pretty much any mundane thing I have going on now is going to be better than...

I really have nothing exciting going on. I'm building a new workbench in my garage, to the great amusement of a guy I work with. I think the thing that is most irritating about being a girl in a man's world of IT and tools, is that nothing that I do would be remarkable at all if I was a guy. The fact that I'm a chick and have a mitre saw is remarkable though. That just irritates me. I can't quite name it, but it really does. I guess I'd like to be recognized for something other than being a penguin among dolphins or something. So what if I have a little tuxedo, haven't I DONE anything? Somebody quoteworthy said that a woman that desires to be like a man lacks ambition. I have to say in response to that, that I am not trying to be like a man, I'm trying to be like Jesus. Yeah okay he was a man but that's a coincidence. Really I'm aspiring to greatness... and immortality.

I watched this home renovation show called Renovation Realities, where this dudes wife was being a huge royal biotch to him, and she finally breaks down crying as they're trying to hang this ledger board and says "I'm just a woman, I can't do things that a man can do, I think we need help". This bothered me not because she was a huge biotch although that bothered me too, but it bothered me because she wasn't even having to do anything hard. She was literally just having to hold a board against a brick wall while her husband did all the actual labor. I can't freaking stand women that cannot or just will not handle simple manual labor. I'm not talking hauling 80 pound bags of cement or something, but just simple shit like moving boxes. It just makes all women look bad, "I'm just a woman" really should never have been used as an excuse. I think instead of saying "I'm just a woman" women that like to say that should say "I'm just worthless for that". Then at least its more personal rather than shaming all of us. I realize that sounds a little misogynistic, I'm really not a woman hater, I mostly hate everyone, but I'm only ranting about women at the moment. Men, you'll have your turn.

02.01.09

Its February now. Happy February. I reloaded my PC last weekend, still recovering from that. Every time I go to run something I remember I haven't installed it. This reload just didn't have the same heart my previous ones have had, a sure sign I'm getting old and disinterested. What the hell is my logo a picture of? I have no idea. I don't remember where it came from. Weird. Sooo, yeah I reloaded my PC.

I installed a new light in my kitchen today, its all in a curved line like track lighting but without being ugly like track lighting. I don't know what you call it. Not a one-person job mind you, but I managed. When you are one person doing a job like that, you have to get clever and use body parts you wouldn't normally use, like the top of your head. Or if you can, clamps can save the day. I have a lot of clamps, because clamps are better than a second set of hands, they don't talk back or whine about having to help your pathetic ass. I like clamps.

I wonder how you make it so that other sites can't link to pictures hosted on yours? Cpanel used to have an option for that. Probably some apache directive thing. I bet Google would tell me in like 5 seconds. But I'm not going to look. Because I am old and tired and I just want things done for me. I'm going to bed now.

01.22.09

Just a quick update while I'm at work. I'm shopping for an L-desk and hutch/shelving for my boyfriends mom (in a cherry finish if you want to sell some), so I'm looking at craigslist furniture listings every other day or so. I gotta say they just crack me up. There's this guy selling a credenza (which is like a long low cabinet you'd put against a wall in an office space), and he opens his listing with "I've always wanted a credenza...". I just imagine this guy, like an actual dude, saying this. That cracks me up. That is freaking hilarious to me. I love it. I love craigslist. I'm also drawn more often than not to click further when I see a description including the words "majestic" or "gorgeous". To have majestic furniture... well... that's something. Not everyone can make the claim that their furniture is majestic. Of course neither can the people on craigslist, I have yet to really agree with the usage of that word yet. Majestic in craigslist furniture-speak is like 80's-oak-hideous.

01.16.09

Song of the day - Free Until they Cut Me Down - by Iron and Wine

Determined as I am to keep up on this blog of mine to record my meaningless existence in minute detail so that I cannot forget it, I shall provide yet another update, while what I may actually have to say is extremely limited. I think I'm more of a listener really. I prefer to listen rather than speak, I think mainly because I rarely have anything to say, at least on topic with what the majority of the rest of the world's population finds worth conversing about. Politics, current affairs, the energy crisis, remote disk storage methodologies, blaaahhhh. I think I'm just hanging out with the wrong crowd. That crowd being the people I work with, since I have little to no non-work interaction. I don't hate my job, but I think I can safely say that what I do is not what I feel I am driven to do or have any special passion for. If you know me and don't work with me, you are probably thinking "What does Sarah do anyway?". Allow me to provide detail while I'm filling up airspace.

My place of work shall rename unnamed, just because I don't want it coming up with some random search for my company. Anyhow, what we do, is hosting and colocation. So you're on this thing called the internet right now, reading my webpage. This webpage is actually a file living on a server housed at my work, like many other websites on many other servers. When you go to a website, the data you see, the way your browser is able to provide it to you, these are all things related to the interweb. There are ports and protocols and links and networks and services and applications and a plethora of other very interesting things that you probably won't care about that make the world of the interweb possible. From my company's perspective, we provide a home from your all important servers and their important megabytes, or you can borrow some of our servers, to show the interweb your megabytes. As you can see its all very technical.

Anyway what I do in relation to the webs and servers and megabytes. Some people have shared hosting, so they have one or a few little sites that live on a server with lots of other sites. Other people have a server all to themselves, or several, that they use for hosting websites, or applications their business use, etc. Even other people have lots of servers they put in a cabinet, or they can have a whole cage area where all their servers get to mill around. My company provides the facility for all those servers to live in with cooling so they don't get too hot, or too dry, and we make sure to have a really pimpy and reliable network so that everyone in the world can reach these servers via the interweb at any given time. We also have to make sure that those servers always have power, because without power they are powerless.

Where do I come in? Well, for starters I help people that call and say "What do I pay you guys for?" literally if they don't know what services we provide, or people that don't understand services they do have, or want more services or less services, or that want to negotiate different pricing on things they have, or inquire about pricing on things they don't have. I think that makes up about 40% of my job, the customer service and account management portion.

Another big part of my job, maybe 40%, is putting in tickets. I put in a lot of tickets in the course of a day. Provisioning tickets, deprovisioning tickets, support tickets, change tickets, tickets just for the fun of creating tickets, etc. A ticket is how something gets to the appropriate groups when there's work to do. I do a lot of telling other groups like engineering or billing or support what work needs to be done, which is work in itself but not as much work as actually working, I am like a director of work. Maybe that should be my title. Anyway the majority of the work there that isn't just general tedium is figuring out what our sales guys have sold and making that into something the engineering team can actually set up for the customer. Its very Office Space - "Well, look, I already told you. I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?!". Yep, that's me. So I direct work.

The last little bits of my occupation tend to be different things from different places, I am a catch all for odd projects, I do a fair bit of reporting (honing my excel skillz), sometimes I sit in meetings with other people I work with, or sometimes with customers, or sometimes a mix. My actual worth is hard to pinpoint, I seem to be pretty good at project management, but I remain irritated that I am just a conductor in the end.

So there you have it, that's my job in 1,000 words or less. What would I rather be doing if I had the means and ability to do so? Flipping houses. Fixing up rundown houses, and selling them for profit. For the short term, I'm not in the position to do it, but the market sucks anyway, so that's okay. I'm going to steadily fix up my own house, then when the market doesn't suck, I should be able to sell it and make a little money, then go on to another house that needs a little more love, and so on and so forth, for maybe the next 5-10 years, building wealth as I go. Then perhaps many houses from now I'll be able to fix up a house I'm not living in, and sell that, and fix up another, and so on, until I don't need to maintain a normal job any more. That is my dream. We shall see.

I had a lot to say for someone that doesn't have much to say. Maybe I should just talk about myself all the time.

01.11.09

I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel, and it is beautiful my friends, it is beautiful. It is not death though, it is life. While I was nowhere near death, I was borderline insane for a time yesterday. Or that's what it felt like, which of course raises the question of if I was really insane if I'd be aware of it or not. We can address that at a later time. Anyway back on topic, I have some kind of bug, which reached its peak yesterday afternoon some time and left me shivering with a fever with my clothes soaked through with sweat, thinking of crazy, crazy things. This is maybe not the real interesting sort of brush with death people look for with great market value, since it is missing the brush with death requirement. However being really sick for a little while is very disorienting so I think its a tale worth telling.

That's it though, I was sick Friday, and sicker Saturday, and today, Sunday, I am mostly better. I can't remember all the crazy things I was thinking yesterday but I do remember thinking crazy things. I know they were crazy because at the time I really wished I could write them down because I knew when later reviewed they'd prove deep and full of wisdom. I guess we'll never know what superior wisdom I could've shared, the world will have to live without. Although I am reminded of an episode of That 70's Show where Eric and gang record one of their round-table dope smoking sessions where they always think they have brilliant ideas, then of course when they listen to the recording later it is moronic gibberish as only dope smoking teenagers can author. So my own brilliant insights are more likely drug-induced disconnected mind wanderings and of no great value. So I guess I'm back to letting down the human race.

Anyway what is remarkable about this is that I hadn't been sick for literally like 2 years at least. Not so much as a cold. I of course had begin to brag about this to try to tempt fate, so no surprise I did get sick, but I still feel like a surprisingly healthy person despite this little germ run-in. The counter may reset, but I think I am still awesome despite my best efforts at thwarting my own health. Go, me.

In other matters, I watched Hitman last night. I was over the fever and I think over the drugs mainly, but I hope for the sake of that film that I was still drugged, because I'm pretty sure it sucked big time. When I think of movies about hitmen I think of two very good movies, The Professional with Jean Reno and a young Natalie Portman, and the Bourne Identity trilogy with Matt Damon. Hitman does not even come close to falling into the same ranks as those. It was basically a B movie with better advertising than usual I think.

For a movie named hitman, you really think you'd learn something about the hitman, other than that he was tattooed with a number as a child and has some inexplicable weakness for Russian hookers with tattoos on their faces. While the everyday life of a genetically-engineered hitman must be interesting, we learn nothing of him, his fears, his desires, or what drives him to continue to do what he does so proficiently. We get a glimpse of the fact that maybe he's well paid in a The Saint-like scene where he communicates with his handlers via audio on a laptop. Beyond that, he's a completely flat character. I'm guessing they told him to deliver his lines as if he were a robot which the actor pulled off beautifully, to great pains to anyone that expected to see acting in a movie rather than a main character acting like he didn't know how to act. You may recognize Timothy Olyphant from Live Free or Die, the latest in the Die Hard movies. He made an alright bad guy in that movie, which made his role in Hitman all the more disappointing. It may be that since it was based off a game the plot was thin to begin with or limited, but I guess that's where you expect the writers to take over and throw in some decent dialogue or twists or something, anything. The dialogue in Hitman was just absolutely awful. Imagine the person you meet at a party that won't stop talking to you and won't stop saying completely idiotic things despite your complete lack of response. Now imagine that guy writing a movie. To back me up I checked Rotten Tomatoes, where this movie received a 15% on the tomatometer. They have this to say about it: "Consensus: Hitman features the unfortunate combination of excessive violence, incoherent plot, and inane dialogue." So critics agree, waste of film, please give me back my 1 hour 33 minutes.

01.06.09

For an always delightful surprise, Google yourself. The last time I googled myself was many years ago and the results were entirely boring. Lots of Sarah Jamesons to be found, most listed on family tree type sites detailing family histories that weren't mine. But now... with the increase in popularity of sites like Facebook, the world of Sarah Jamesons is far more interesting. For example:

Take Sarah Jameson, who is 26 in San Antonio, Texas. She seems nice, like maybe if I had to choose an alternate reality Sarah Jameson to take my place, I might pick her: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=410938

And then you have the very slutty Sara Jameson who has the same named.com but then refers to herself as having an "h" like me. I don't want to link to her as she is very slutty and makes SaraH Jamesons look bad. I'm not sure she's real though, she seems like a marketing ploy to me, but I didn't dig deep enough to find out if there's some sort of money making scheme to be found...

But then you have the costume supervisor Sarah Jameson who is working on the set of Where the Wild Things are, slated to release in October of 2009. That is awesome, and I like that Sarah Jameson too: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0417074/.

Next up, Sarah Jameson Albrecht who recently went to California and liked it, just like me! I was there as recently as 9 years ago, and I found it very nice as well. What a coincidence! She isn't 21 yet, so she's a young Sarah Jameson, and kind of bitter, (search for Fuck Iowa, for example). I don't think Iowa ever hurt anybody, but whatever, here's that one: http://sarahjamesonalbrecht.blogspot.com/.

The last Sarah Jameson I care to review has some sort of design portfolio online and she is in the UK. The flashy links on that site to view the portfolio stuff are nice, that Sarah Jameson has flash skillz this Sarah Jameson will never care enough to have. And she's British, 2 points for being British! http://www.xcine.co.uk/index.php.

I have to admit, its extremely surreal reading blog entries signed by a Sarah Jameson that isn't me, even more so when they kind of sound like me. A harsh reality perhaps we shall all come to face in this new world of online life publication. I shall have to change my name perhaps to involve more consonants.